My OCD stories

My two step OCD (15 years old)

Check out my first post to see how my OCD started.

When you have a weird OCD like mine it makes things you enjoy off putting. An example would be when I was young, I would not bother playing with my toys as I knew if I picked them up it would trigger my OCD again. Another example would be not bothering to get up to get a drink, which takes me to an OCD which I call the Two step OCD. Now before you think my OCD is a step up routine.

Let me explain.

Now this OCD would affect me when I would walk from one room to another. Every time I entered a new room in the house I would step in and out of the room until I got the feeling right (ps it did help my two step get better) also amazing leg calf work out .

I felt like I had to get this feeling right in order to go into the next room. It was almost like a game in my head, where I had to pass levels to get to the next stage. As you can imagine this really made me lazy and stressed as I preferred not getting up anymore.

Before I continue let’s talk about The feeling” I keep talking about.

The feeling is a nervous feeling, and it makes me feel like something bad is going to happen in my life. This could be being embarrassed in school, my dad getting angry at me or that something I was working towards would not happen. There is a bundle of thoughts which occur in the mind telling you that if you do not do this right a lot of bad things will happen and this feeling would occur in all my OCDs.

Now, you are probably thinking “How do you make this feeling go away? How do you know you did it correctly?” The answer to your question is the only way I knew I did it correctly was when the anxiety and the heaviness in my body went away. This way I got reassurance that it was fine, but this was not always the case. There have been situations where I felt like I did it right and I could relax. But then one minute later I would have thoughts like “Are you sure you did it right? What if you didn’t do it right and something bad happens? You should try again!”

Yes, it’s very complicated but it started to become a growing part of my life and second nature. It became so natural for me that I didn’t even notice it at times. The strange thing was, I found a loophole to get it to stop. But this loophole was not the solution but sometimes it worked. When people started to notice, it would stop immediately like the Game was Over because i got embarrassed. However, this rarely happened as it was not that obvious and my family didn’t pay much attention to it.

Thank you for reading. This was the two step OCD. I have to be honest I didn’t come up with the name. I know it’s strange naming the OCD, but the name actually originated when my sister In law saw me do it. Like I said it becomes second nature to me. I don’t realise who is around me, as I zone into it and when she saw it she said “Why are you two stepping?” and that’s how it was named.

I know whatever OCD you might have there is always a solution to each and every OCD no matter how bad it is and no matter how trapped you feel. I never had anyone to talk about this with and I felt trapped for about 13 years. This platform has given me the chance to express myself. If you can relate or know people going through similar situations, I can promise and reassure you I have found a solution that has helped me in my day to day life. This solution came from 13 years of experience with OCD. You are not alone and if you wish to contact me please contact me on ask.millennial@hotmail.com. Hopefully my solution could help find your solution.

If you want to get professional help you can get psychological therapy normally cognitive behavioural therapy or you can get medication such as antidepressants called selective serotonin repute inhibitors (SSRIs).

Image result for two step
Two Step OCD

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