My OCD stories

My solution to My OCDs

❗Please read my pervious post for this post to make a little more sense.

With all the OCDs I had I eventually managed to to figure out how to stop nearly all of them. Everything from my tapping OCD to my two step OCD, it did not matter what OCD it was this worked for all of them.

Let me explain.

I started to realise whenever an OCD occurred I would always act on that OCD straight away. I had no self control, I used to rely on the tapping OCD for nearly everything I did. I started to work on my self by self healing and re-evaluating everything in my life. I researched how to have a clear mindset, not let you anxiety overcome you and I looked at what motivated me in life. I started doing things which made me happy and surrounded myself around people who made me happy.

Because I started to notice the OCD was fed by negativity and having bad thoughts. In order for me to move forward, I had to cancel out the negatives from my life. For many people this could be bad influences in life, alcohol etc. However, in my case the problem was me. I made things complicated for myself by overthinking as it made me do my OCD as a way of helping myself into thinking “By doing this OCD the outcome of whatever I about to face or do will be better”.

After this reoccurring trapped feeling I started to realise that I allowed it to happen and was relying on this as a way of creating good things in my life. This was not the way to live and instead I stared to get closer to God. I know you’re probably thinking here we go again another saved by God story, but it’s not. I wanted to find ways to overcome it because I just wanted to feel normal and was frustrated with all my anxiety and OCD. I came to this conclusion as I was late one evening and a friend was waiting for me and due to my OCD I was late. He was not happy and it was not nice making him wait. I started to realise how bad the OCD was and how controlling it was and how it started to affect the people around me. That was when I said to myself “Enough is enough I need to figure out a way to stop this.”

I am not very religious, even though I try to be, but it’s much bigger than that. You don’t have to be religious I just use it as it worked for me. Getting to the point I started to rely on God for my good outcomes and whenever an OCD trigger occurred or I was having a bad thought, which could trigger more OCDs. No matter how bad it got I said to myself I will try to have a good day stay positive and let God handle the rest.

Now the bigger picture is not religion it’s more about letting the universe and destiny do its job. If you really think about it you have no clue about the future the only power you have is to be the best you and love yourself, have confidence and stay positive in order to go through anything and come out the other end still intact.

There where times I had bad days, but those bad days were much better without my OCD. It was a big improvement! However, it’s not easy to just change everything over night. I still did some OCDs, it’s like smoking you have to cut it down slowly. This eventually helped me and in present time I barely haven OCD or anxiety.

I’ll tell you a recent story where I felt anxiety and felt like doing my OCD to stop it from happening. My dad recently got sick he was sent to the hospital my brain instantly went “Oh no, this is your fault if you did your OCD he would have been fine.” I know it sounds stupid, right, but that’s what my brain was telling me. My thoughts started to tell me to do my OCD, this could be tapping on things or stepping in and out of the room in order for my dads situation to be better and by some chance doing my OCD would help the situation.

I could feel my anxiety building up inside but I took a deep breath and said to myself “I am in control I need to stay positive and call home and be supportive, be there with family”. I stayed calm and did not use my OCD. I even made a prayer to God to look over my dad and keep him in good health.

A few hours went by and the doctor tells us the blood test results and the cause for why he was admitted into the hospital was due to his age he had a bad stomach congestion and a lot of gas was trapped, which caused him a lot of pain and that he would be fine if he just took some laxatives. His blood test results came out perfectly fine.

I realised, all this time ever since I was a little child I would let these thought and urges get in the way of me living my life. It took me a lot of my life to realise that things which happen good or bad are not due to my OCD and when bad things happen it’s not my fault and when good things happen I actually deserve them and it’s not because my OCD allowed them to happen.

That being said I know I am much stronger now. A lot of people struggle with OCD and I would be more than happy to talk and help find a solution as I did not have anyone to talk to and I know if I did I might have been better a long time ago. Instead it took me a long time but I just talked to myself to come up with a solution to my OCD.

If this doesn’t help you in any way, shape or form I can promise you there is definitely a way to make this better. You have to be honest with your self and take a leap of faith. I know it’s very difficult to even try stopping your OCD.

I know whatever OCD you might have there is always a solution to each and every OCD no matter how bad it is and no matter how trapped you feel. I never had anyone to talk about this with and I felt trapped for about 13 years. This platform has given me the chance to express myself. If you can relate or know people going through similar situations, I can promise and reassure you I have found a solution that has helped me in my day to day life. This solution came from 13 years of experience with OCD. You are not alone and if you wish to contact me please contact me on ask.millennial@hotmail.com. Hopefully my solution could help find your solution.

If you want to get professional help you can get psychological therapy normally cognitive behavioural therapy or you can get medication such as antidepressants called selective serotonin repute inhibitors (SSRIs).

Related image
My OCD stories

How to cope with OCD on your bad days

❗Please read my pervious post for this post to make a little more sense.

When I am having a bad day having OCD does not help! It’s like having an over dramatic frantic friend with you at all times. Whenever I am having a bad day my thoughts make me think it’s due to my OCD. For example, if I had not tapped correctly and missed a sequence of numbers when tapping or I did my OCD routine incorrectly something bad could happen. This is when my OCD takes me on overdrive.🤯

Let me explain.

A bad day for me is when everything is just going bad I even have some bad days of the week, Thursdays and Mondays. On these days where I feel like am going to have a bad day my OCD really takes advantage of that as the negativity feeds it. These days could consists of all kinds of things just not going right, such as having arguments with friends and family, extra pressure and unnecessary drama I even lost a job on a Thursday. Things just happen to pile up one after another.

(Bonus OCD😅) Another bizarre OCD -I will not were the same shirt or socks which I was wearing on that bad day anymore as I feel like they had a negative energy from them which made me have a bad day. If you are thinking do I have lucky clothing such as tops and other clothing the answer is Yes.

The reason why my OCD takes advantage is because I have to make sure everything bad which is about to happen is not going to get really bad. When doing my OCD it helps get rid of that anxiety and heaviness. I could therefore be tapping or doing other OCDs for a really long time just to make sure my day is not worse than it has to be.

Sometimes my OCD is so controlling that I will not look at texts or check emails just incase they are bad. I just want to isolate and lock myself away from the outside world with no contact with anyone. I know you’re probably thinking I am the dramatic and frantic one.

But over a long period of time you start to get used to it, like I have. Here’s a tip always remain positive no matter how bad it is. Otherwise, you will lose yourself in your thoughts and you will never be able to move forward. If you keep getting stuck OCD feeds off of the negativity.

Here’s a trick I use

When your OCD is not playing up as much use that good day and remember it on your bad day and think everything worked out fine on the good day. Use this to help you move forward and make it a little less difficult.

I know whatever OCD you might have there is always a solution to each and every OCD no matter how bad it is and no matter how trapped you feel. I never had anyone to talk about this with and I felt trapped for about 13 years. This platform has given me the chance to express myself. If you can relate or know people going through similar situations, I can promise and reassure you I have found a solution that has helped me in my day to day life. This solution came from 13 years of experience with OCD. You are not alone and if you wish to contact me please contact me on ask.millennial@hotmail.com. Hopefully my solution could help find your solution.

If you want to get professional help you can get psychological therapy normally cognitive behavioural therapy or you can get medication such as antidepressants called selective serotonin repute inhibitors (SSRIs).

Image result for ocd bad days
My OCD stories

The beginning of my OCD?

When I was 10 years old I started noticing how my brain and my inner thought would have this huge power over me and how it affected my everyday life. The most simple of tasks would be so difficult and it would be a constant battle in my head. It feels like if you ignore what your brain is telling you something bad would happen, for example you would have a bad day, something could happen to your family or you would fail school. Anything that you had going on in your life somehow your brain would tell you how it was going to go wrong if you didn’t listen to it. Before you start thinking “Oh no, serial killer in the making .” Let me explain.

This was my first encounter with this OCD and I just did not understand it. This made me frustrated and I did not know how to suppress it not matter how much I wanted it to stop but I knew I had to carry on doing it until the feeling of anxiety stopped.

It all started when I was playing with a toy car. It was an army jeep my uncle got me when he came to visit. While I was playing I drove the car up the wall on to the kitchen counter. The strange thing was that my thoughts started to tell me to drive it up the wall again as the feeling was not right. I kept driving the jeep up and down like I was on a loop in my head. It was literally a war zone, no pun intended, I felt a huge pressure on my head from driving the car up and down the wall and it was driving me up the wall. No matter how much I tried to do it again and again until the feeling in my head allowed me to stop, it gave me an anxious feeling in my stomach because it did not feel right. I knew that it had to do it until it felt right otherwise something bad would happen. Eventually after 2 hours of this insane loop I thought “Am I going crazy? Why am I doing this?” and “I want to stop but if I do what if something bad happens to me or someone in my family”.

My dad told me to go to sleep, as it was getting late but I still had this sick feeling in my stomach as if I had to do this until I got it right.

When everyone was asleep I slowly went down the stairs matching my dads snoring as the floor boards would creak. I started to drive my army jeep up the wall again, half an hour passed as I sat there in the pitch dark. I finally did it and now it was late, 2am to be exact. But finally I did it correctly and my brain felt at ease, the pressure went away and my body which was so tense finally relaxed like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. It was like I just finished a huge deadline and everything was going to be okay now and nothing bad would happen.

This was only when I was 10 years old. I had so many more weird OCDs But this one was the most intense one as it was the first. It started to spread in to my routine such as picking up a spoon and placing it down or using salt and pepper. If I did not put it down correctly I would get this bad anxious feeling and feel like something was going to happen until I did it enough times to get it right.

With all these OCDs affecting my everyday life I created a system with different methods to deal with different forms of OCD all controlled under one system to minimise it. I will reveal how I did it in the months coming and hopefully my solutions can help you. Please share if this is something you can relate to or find interesting.

THE OCD JEEP